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Ugh, It's Mardi Gras Time pt5

March 15th, 2010

2/13/10 Sat. 75.7 miles
2/14/10 Sun. 53.6 miles
2/15/10 Mon. 83.8 miles

I knew building up to Mardi Gras that this weekend would be the worst. I had decided months ago that I would take this entire weekend off but I’m broke and can’t afford too. So I bucked up and braced myself for the complete stupidity I was about to endure.


I started around 8:00 PM. When the parades had passed Napoleon Ave. I hit the streets. My first fare basically set the tone for the rest of the night.
I picked up a black family on the corner of Magazine/Sophie Wright & St. Andrew. There was 6 of them and I told them I could only take 5 according to city law.
“Aww, hell man. This one ain’t but 50 lbs. soaking wet!” The dad said pointing to a young boy.
They piled in before I could even respond. They wanted to go to Lee Circle to watch the parade. The girls in the back complained about not getting daiquiri’s. The father was cracking me up mimicking the girls he was obviously a funny guy. The little boy laughed.
“Oh, and who the hell are you anyway?” He asked the little boy.
“How the hell did I get stuck with the little boy from the neighborhood?” He asked the rest of his family.
We all laughed.
I drove them as far as I could. They paid $10 to go 10 blocks and they were happy.
They piled out and I looked in my rearview mirror and I had 2 new people already sitting in my backseat.
That’s pretty much how the entire night went.


My Sunday was going really well until I picked up 5 people on the corner of Jefferson & Magazine. One of the guys was determined to get to Julia & S. Peters. I thought the parades were finished downtown so I took the most direct route and ended up stuck in traffic for the first time this weekend. The final parade of the night had a break down which left it running behind schedule. After forcing my way past several cars I found and opening on one of the many small streets in the CBD. Right when I got to the opening 2 girls flagged me down and took me back Uptown. They were bartenders downtown it all worked out for the better because they were happy to be off work and tipped really well.

Monday – Lundi Gras

Tonight was a breeze and I was grateful.
There was a fair amount of maneuvering on my part to avoid traffic and back ups. I was able to avoid downtown for most of this entire weekend which really surprised me. I imagined myself trapped in the Quarter with a bunch of drunk people dancing on my hood. Thankfully the few times I found myself downtown I ended up with someone in my cab who wanted to get out of the Quarter.

My favorite fare of Mardi Gras happened today. Around midnight I took a page to pick up at the Milan Lounge. Four young guys piled into my cab and asked to go to the Dragon’s Den. The 3 guys sitting in the back were quiet and very chill. The guy who sat upfront was obviously the Alpha of the group. Not in an obnoxious overly testosterone way but he seemed to make all the decisions. He definitely talked the most. He was bragging to his friends about just getting laid. Apparently he had left his friends at the Milan with a group of rotten girls while he took one of them up to his apartment.

“The early fuck. That’s the key to life fellas!” He said basking in after sex euphoria. “Get in there early and get it done. Then get back out into the night. None of that awkward cuddling afterwards. None of that waking up next to them the next morning.” He continued.
“Yup, get in there around 8 o’clock, maybe 9, come 11 you’re out and having fun again. Even if it’s with a girl you didn’t really want to do it with.”
His friends agreed.
As we rolled down Esplanade towards the Dragon’s Den he continued to bestow bits of wisdom to his friends in an effort to pump everyone up.
“You only live once fellas! Burn that flame real bright and hope there’s something beautiful in the after life!”

My last fare of Mardi Gras came about an hour later. I picked up 3 guys and a gilr who were all going to different places in Metairie. It was a perfect fare to end the night because driving around the suburbs can really drive the meter up.
“Have you ever heard of me?” The girl asked. “I’m known by most of the cabbies in this city.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Rachel. But I’m known as the Anonymous Poo,” she proudly declared.
“Anonymous Poo? Nope can’t say I have, baby.”
“Well, most cabbie don’t know it’s me until I’m gone. I make sure to leave them a little treat,” she claimed.
“Well, I hope you don’t plan on leaving me a treat cause I’ll know exactly where it came from,” I told her.

The rest of the ride the girl giggled and threatened to “poo” in my car. Thankfully she didn’t.

So that was my Mardi Gras. I’m sure y’all were expecting more stories of bare breasts and vomiting. Sorry to disappoint you.

I’ll be taking Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras Day) off to finally have some fun of my own.


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